My Heart Burns
by Ghoulmask
Summary: For Eli, a past is something of fantasy, an illusion. But every man has a beginning, and events that shape him. Even if he doesn't recall them, these events leave a mark that cannot be ignored. This is an insight into how Eli will one day lead the people of New Vegas. Everything that follows here is long forgotten by Eli. So count yourselves lucky to know the truth.
1. Tempest

_**I've been trying to hold off on writing Eli's backstory for a month now. But honestly I cannot get it out of my mind! I'm not going to neglect or stop Human Nature, I just need to get this going before my brain melts. So I promise to time this correctly so his past doesn't catch up to HN until HN is finished. In fact there are actually 17 years between this chapter (the year is 2264) and the first chapter of HN**__**. That makes Eli 39 in HN, not the he is aware of that fact...So congrats to my readers, you will now know more about Eli than he does himself. For now.**_

**_Anyway, Eli's story has got some pretty dark parts. Mostly his own sinister musings, but some of it from his reality. If you are bothered by sadomasochism, bloodlust and a sexy man's anger...then this story isn't for you. For everyone else, there is still a smattering of humor since it is Eli's story. So enjoy my dears._**

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_''I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's;  
I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.'' _

William Blake (1757-1827)

Eli looked down at his bloodied hands, a slow smile gracing his handsome features. Casting a gaze at the carnage around him he was reminded of an old holotape he'd seen as a kid. In one such scene the main character, had snapped out of a murderous rampage. Once the character viewed what he had done, he went into shock, crying and screaming _"What have I done? What have I done? How did this happen?!" _The character had no recollection of the deed, having psychological issues that made him act as if he were someone else. The man in the story felt remorse at his actions, as well as confusion. He had wondered where this violent side stemmed from, and why, deep down, he didn't want it to stop. In the end, the character killed himself, unable to choose which side to live with.

A low laugh rumbled inside Eli's chest. He had been fascinated by the story, the duality of the man was familiar. Eli had once felt the same way when he was young, unable to cope with his conflicting sides. Over time however, with the loving guidance of his Mother, things changed. Eli eventually made peace with the urges inside, choosing to cast off the weaker side and give in fully to his fantasy. He no longer beat himself up over what he wanted. Instead he did as he pleased, never chastising himself for his actions. While it was a freeing decision, it made other aspects of his life difficult. He had become a very intimidating man over the years. His job working for his neighbor just outside Freeside, (removing rubble from buildings to be reused) had sculpted his young body into a well muscled machine. He was already a very tall person, hitting 6'0'' by fifteen, and then finishing off at eighteen with another five inches. Now at the age of 22 , the addition of muscle mass put him at the top of every girl's list in his small community.

The difficult part came when girls found out what he was really like. He was unwilling to compromise when it came to his personality. Eli was brash, honest, violent and full of questionable morals. He started fights often, and he finished them too. Sleeping around was normal to him, he had never been faithful simply because he hadn't found anyone worth being faithful to. At least that was his perspective. He wanted a woman who was just as twisted as him, and who knew where she stood in her beliefs. He simply had no time for flighty girls who would say anything to please him. And he especially had no time for girls who wanted him to change his ways. Eli saw no point to sacrificing his behavior just to find a significant other.

But he did have a softer side, one that longed to take care of someone one day. The protective nature that kept his Mother and Sister safe could easily be used for another. Eli longed for someone to call his own, someone to love on a deeper level. His heart burned each morning after waking from his dreams. In these images, his subconscious dangled the fact that he was alone in front of him. This constant torment threatened his self loathing side back into existence over the years. But instead of changing him, it only served to harden his resolve to remain the same. He would keep up his brutal and questionable self, and once someone came along who accepted his ways...well then he would slowly shower the person with love. Or at least what his idea of love was.

Rubbing blood splattered fingers over his swollen knuckles, Eli kicked the dead raider at his feet. They had picked the wrong day to invade the building he was working in. The three of them never stood a chance in the close quarters of the building. And close quarters were where Eli thrived, no place for anyone to run from his long reach and quick fists.

Footsteps echoed off the concrete snapping Eli from his musings.

His neighbor, Quinn, came walking in. Stopping when his foot his the first body he looked up at Eli with a smirk. "Shit man, I leave you alone for two seconds..."

"I was just doing a little spring cleaning." Eli raised a thick brow at the other man.

Quinn broke into a smile "You mopped up well I see, as usual." He stepped carefully over the litter of bodies and clapped Eli on the shoulder. "Where would we be if you weren't here in Harmon?" Quinn said, referring to their little community.

"In your graves I imagine." Eli chuckled, lighting a cigarette. His finger stained the white paper as he took a drag.

Quinn smiled "That is probably true." The older man gave a shrug, used to Eli's mannerisms, as were most of the towns people. "Well Eli, it's quittin' time. Meet you at the bar?"

He shook his head "Nope, I promised Ma that I'd show up for dinner tonight."

"Ah, best not to piss her off then huh? Well I'll see you in the morning!" Quinn waved as he walked outside.

Eli made quick work of the bodies, burying them hastily behind the building. When he finished he dusted off his hands happily and began the short walk home.

Bounding up the short stairs he burst through the door. The last dregs of sunlight cast a warm glow in the kitchen as he walked in."Fuck, it smells good in here!" He bellowed loudly.

"Eli!" His Mom smiled at him, shaking the thick brown hair that hung down her back. "You're damn right it does. Go wash that filth off you and find your sister. She's out back fucking around with that stray dog again." She nodded towards the door before returning to her cooking.

Eli walked over and kissed her on the cheek, his olive skin matching perfectly to hers. "Yes Mitera"

Eli loved and respected his Mother more than anyone else. Her acceptance of his brutish nature allowed his good side to come through more. And for that he was eternally grateful. She was a tough lady, having raised him and his sister Mollie all alone. A very hard thing to do in any circumstance, but more so in the Mojave.

Making his way through the tiny house he poked his head out the back door, his eyes landing on his sister. She was rolling in the sand playfully with a graying stray dog that she had named Till. "You get all dirty and Ma is just going to make you bathe again." He teased her.

The dark haired girl looked up and grinned as she pushed the dog off her. "Says the man covered in blood."

He walked over and extended a hand to help her up. She took it and he yanked her upright, becoming airborne for a second. She landed and pushed him as she laughed. "Some of us actually like taking baths." Dusting off her dress she beamed up at him, her dark blue eyes shining. "How was work?"

"Uneventful, until some dickhead raiders showed up. Then it was just a normal day." He grinned as they walked back inside.

"You are something else Eli. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that we share genes." She patted her older brother on the shoulder. They were only three years apart, but Mollie seemed much older.

"I don't think I could squeeze into your jeans Mol." He teased her smartly. Eli may have looked like a brute, but he was no slack in the intelligence department. His Mother had seen to that as well, for both her children.

She rolled her eyes, stopping with him outside of the tiny bathroom they all shared. "Hardy har, I'm gonna go help Mom. See you in a bit!" She scampered off leaving Eli alone.

He ran a bath and climbed in, sitting quietly for a time. The swirls of blood lifting from his skin as it mixed with the water caught his eye. Watching their patterns lazily he closed his eyes for a while, relishing the cool liquid around him. There was something calming about the water. It helped quell the tempest that was always raging in his mind. His hands gripped the sides of the tub as he recalled the fight from earlier. If you could even call it a fight, the scuffles he got into were always one sided.

He could hear the sound of flesh upon flesh in his head. A not so distant echo from the battle before as his fists had made contact with the raiders. The familiarity of the sound called up a much different memory. The sound of flesh upon flesh again, but slapping, not pounding. He smirked to himself as he remembered the girl who's skin helped elicit such sounds with him. She had short blonde hair, and what Eli considered to be an amazing rack. He couldn't recall her name entirely, something that started with a "B". But to him it never mattered.

Most women never interested him past anything more than sex. And most women were offended when he told them that. The way he saw it, it was better to just be honest up front. There were a lot of things he could tolerate, but whiny women weren't one of them. This one in particular however, had known the game from the start. She was just as willing as him to make it a quick fuck, with no strings attached. And she had been quite the animal in bed. Not as wild as he would have liked, but enough to satisfy him for the time. She wasn't afraid of his large manhood, and in his experience, that was something good enough just by itself.

He opened his eyes, catching sight of the hardening between his legs. The bloody water wasn't a hindrance to his arousal. Quite the contrary, the red swirls only increased his excitement as he thought about the diluted life force around him. His hand floated down into the water, wrapping around himself with a tight grip. Eli began to tug a rhythm to the visions in his mind, laying his head back as he pleasured himself.

It didn't take more than a few minutes for the man to release himself in the cooling water. Biting his lip to keep back the groan that would surely echo in the room. His muscles relaxed as he let out a contented sigh. He popped his neck before reaching down and pulling the plug on the tub. Now he could concentrate better on the rest of the evening. He smiled happily as he dried off, wrapping the towel around his waist when he finished.

Padding across the hall to his room, he pulled out the only clean pair of clothes he had at the moment. Dressing quickly to go join his Mother and Sister in the kitchen.

"You started without me?" He gave them a look of mock surprise as he sat down and heaped his plate.

"Well if you didn't take a fucking twenty minute bath, we woulda waited." Mollie teased as she held her glass up to him. "Whatcha doing in there so long?"

"Writing poetry." He quipped with a smile. Masturbation could be poetry couldn't it? Poems had a rhythm much like his movements, they both evoked strong emotions as well. _Yes_, he decided, both things were very much alike.

"Do you even know any poetry?" She asked sarcastically.

Eli exchanged a look with his Mother before answering her with a smile.

"...And if the babe is born a boy  
He's given to a woman old,  
Who nails him down upon a rock,  
Catches his shrieks in cups of gold.

She binds iron thorns around his head,  
And pierces both his hands and feet,  
And cuts his heart out of his side  
To make it feel both cold & heat.

Her fingers number every nerve  
Just as a miser counts his gold;  
She lives upon his shrieks and cries  
And she grows young as he grows old,

Till he becomes a bleeding youth  
And she becomes a virgin bright;  
Then he rends up his manacles  
And pins her down for his delight."

Mollie blinked at him with shock on her face. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

"I found a book full of these fucking poems in a ruin months ago. They are pretty fucking weird, so naturally I like them." He shrugged.

"Eli has been reading them to me at night when I can't sleep." His mother said with a warm smile.

"Wow...well I'm honestly surprised. I thought I was the only offspring with a brain." Mollie grinned, her smile matching her Brother's as she teased him.

"I just don't go flaunting mine like you do Mol." He nudged her shoulder.

She poked at him with her fork. "Yeah well, one of us has to make something of themselves."

Their Mother (Daphne) rolled her eyes at her children. "You will both become exactly what you put your efforts into. I've told you both this many times before. Don't go thinking either path you take is better than the others." She took a swig of her whiskey before continuing. "You are blood, don't every let me catch you put each other down."

"We were just teasing Mitera..." Eli said, taken back by her sudden seriousness.

"I know you were this time. But I'm not stupid, I've heard you both bicker over similar things before." She tapped her temple. "Where do you two think you got your brains?"

"From a collection of cells formed in the womb." Mollie said shrewdly.

Eli snorted his drink as he laughed, choking out the whiskey onto the table. Daphne gave him a good whack on his broad back before turning to her Daughter.

"Smart ass." She gave her a smile to show her teasing. "You two are on dish duty, I'm going to bed now." She gave them each a kiss on the cheek before disappearing down the hall.

Mollie turned to Eli then, a slight frown on her features. "She's been having trouble sleeping again?"

Eli's gray-blue eyes darkened a shade as he joined her in frowning. "Yeah, still having the nightmares..." He let out a heavy sigh as he refilled both their glasses.

"It's been six months since that asshole attacked her. I thought she was getting better." She took her full glass with a nod.

He rubbed the palms of his hands together as he glared at the table. Half a year ago, a lone raider named Martin had began following his Mother around the little town. He had made numerous advances, all of which Daphne turned down. One night however Martin had caught Daphne unaware and attacked her. He had been trying to force her to come with him to wherever he lived, no one really knew where for sure. Luckily one of the townsfolk had heard her screams and shot at Martin. He had missed, but it had been enough to scare the raider away.

Every since then, Daphne had been having nightmares about Martin. She claimed that she could hear him outside her window at night. Eli had gone out every time she thought she heard him, but he never turned up anything. This was especially disturbing since Eli regarded his Mother as a completely sane and hard-boiled woman, not someone easily shaken.

"I did too." He admitted finally. "It does help for me to sit with her though, at least I think it does."

Mollie placed a hand on his and squeezed it. "I bet it does Eli, she wouldn't have you losing sleep for nothing."

He placed his free hand on top of her, sandwiching it between his other. For their many differences, he and Mollie were surprisingly close. He was just as protective of her as he was his Mother, which made their increasing divergences all the more painful.

"I'd do the same for you little sister." He smiled wide, making his eyes squint slightly.

"I know you would. Now go get some sleep. I'll take care of the dishes for tonight okay?" She pulled her hands back and stood up.

Eli downed the rest of his whiskey quickly before standing and wrapping her into a hug. "Thanks Mol, I love you. Big dumb brain and all."

She returned the hug happily, patting his back when they broke apart. "I love you too, you big dopey brahmin."

Eli bid her goodnight and walked down to his room. He paused just outside Daphne's door, listening until he was satisfied with her light snoring. When he got to his room, he shut the door behind him and stripped down naked. Climbing into bed he laid back with his hands behind his head and sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. He had every intention of staying awake for a while, to figure out another way to help his Mother. But the day's events had tired the big man more than he realized. He fell asleep shortly, though his stomach was occupied with a feeling of dread.

The sensation pulled him into darker dreams than he'd had in a while. In this dream he was nailed to a rock, unable to move. To his side, his Mother was tugging furiously on the nails that bound him to the stone. Trying with all his strength he pulled against his bindings, something was coming for her, he could sense it. Suddenly a dark shadow enclosed itself around her arms, yanking her away from his side.

Anguish flooded over Eli, he could only watch helplessly as a shadow took his Mother from him, dragging her into a pool of bloodied water. Daphne sank deeper and deeper into the crimson waters, screaming out his name all the while. As she cried out one last time before finally going under, Eli turned abruptly as something cold touched his hand. Looking down he saw a cup made of gold in his clenched fist. Inside the cup was a large thorn. His bewilderment at the sight took his mind off his Mother. He was no longer aware of her suffering. A strange rush of relief came over him as he stared at it, replacing his sorrows with an intense and angry focus.

The longer he stared at it, the more he realized, the thorn was for him to swallow. And in doing so, he would finally be released. The nails that kept his hands confined, would fall away, liberating him from his suffering.

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_**The name he calls his Mother "Mitera" (μητέρα ) is Greek for "Mother". His appearance, like his Mom and Sister, is similar to one who is of Greek decent. The reason he referrers to his Mother in Greek is actually for a different purpose altogether, to be revealed later. Her name is from the Greek Nymph Daphne, who is associated with bodies of water. This ties into Eli's love of water. Deep I know lol.**_

**_Points to anyone who caught the Perfect Circle and Rammstein references in this chapter! Also, both quotes are from William Blake poems. Expect to see a lot of this from our brutish intellectual._**


	2. Balance

_**Some credit to FalloutGuy1986 for helping me write some of the fight scene. I am TERRIBLE at fighting sequences and he offered to help. Gave me some solid advice and even helped with the lines themselves. He is a very descriptive writer, check out his stories! In the meantime I shall keep practicing to bring you guys a better story, promise.**_

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_"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." -Chuck Palahniuk_

Eli was sitting in the bar a few nights later smoking like a mad man. The dream from earlier still made his skin crawl whenever he gave it thought. So he resided to do the only thing that seemed to clear his mind. Drink. It didn't help that it had also been a while since he had gotten to lay hands on someone, and he was itching for a fight. About four glasses of whiskey in, he realized the usual rowdy crowd wasn't making an appearance.

"Guess I'll have to make my own fun." He smiled at the bartender. The man simply continued cleaning a cloudy glass and said nothing.

Spinning around on the bar stool to face the crowd, Eli scanned the room. Normally if you wanted a fight, you found the biggest motherfucker in the room and hit him. Eli chuckled, too bad for him he always _was _that motherfucker. The other thing you could do was find the prettiest girl, taken of course, and flirt with her. And that's just what he aimed to do. Knocking back his drink he wiped the sweat from the glass on his pants and stood.

The prettiest girl just happened to be surrounded by men, even as she sat in the lap of one. He strolled up to the table catching sight of their NCR uniforms. _Even better _Eli thought with a grin, riling up soldier boys was always a guaranteed thrill. Flicking his cigarette to the floor he blew the smoke out his nose and smiled at the girl. His boyish grin caught her eye and she turned to him, flipping her pretty brown hair.

"Can we help you?" One of the soldiers asked him, obviously agitated at the newcomer.

Eli smiled at him as well. "I just figured that you were new in town. Thought I might come say Hi. I especially wanted to meet to your lady friend." He said, offering his hand to the girl.

"Well hello, I'm June." She grinned and held her hand out.

"I'm sure." he replied, taking her hand he pulled her up quickly from her perch and dipped her down.

She squealed as he caught her in his arms, and he shut off the sound quickly with a rough kiss. By the time he sat her back up on her feet, the sound of chairs scraping the wood floor echoed inside the bar. Eli gave the woman another smile before gently pushing her aside.

He tipped an imaginary hat to her just as the first man pushed him.

"Just what are you trying to pull here?!" The Soldier demanded.

Turning slowly he let the feeling bubble from his stomach all the way up to his chest. "Like I said, I was just introducing myself."

The men looked around at each other for a moment. When the first turned back, Eli met his face with his heavy fist. The wounded soldier fell to the floor, only a loud thump and a small rising of dust followed as he was knocked out cold.

The second Soldier lunged at Eli, hitting his target dead center. He let out a surprised groan when Eli barely moved. The move the soldier had used would have knocked most opponents to the ground. However, Eli was not "most opponents" The tall man reacted just like a stone wall, well as stone wall would have before the war.

Eli laughed menacingly and grabbed the man by the throat and tossed him into a nearby table. Splintered wood flew across the bar as Eli took advantage of the distraction. He grabbed the last frightened man by the uniform and dragged him across the floor. Releasing him suddenly, held his arms out wide.

Eli licked the blood from the first Soldier from his knuckles hungrily. "Don't be scared."

The solider looked at him like he was crazy, and Eli laughed to prove him right. The second man rose up from the broken table and lunged at Eli, wrapping his hands around his throat. Unfortunately for him, his hands weren't enough to encompass the girth of Eli's neck. Eli grabbed him under the arms and flipped him over easily, knocking the third man down as well with his body.

"Aw fucking...come on! You call yourselves Soldiers?!" He huffed. Disappointed at the weak, sloppy manner in which they "fought back".

"They are only Cadets, I however, am an Officer." A voice spoke up from behind him.

Eli turned around to see a blonde man, matching him in size, and only a few inches shorter. A wide smile spread across his face just as the man's fist made contact with his cheekbone. The world went black for a split second as the pain spread through his jaw. Any other man would have thought twice after receiving that particular blow. But his sadistic nature rang true, and Eli thoroughly enjoyed the pain. He turned back as he opened his eyes again, returning the blow with one of his own. Blood droplets flew from the Officer's mouth, but to his credit, he remained upright.

They circled each other like boxers, each strike being returned in kind. Every time the officer landed a blow, Eli drank in the pain. Some people took chems to get high, but Eli found that they only dulled the world around him. His high came from feeling every other kind of pain and pleasure the world had to offer. And often, the two were one in the same. The sensation lit the fire in his mind and burned away all the frustrations inside. The officer landed a particularly good blow suddenly, causing Eli's vision to blur. He stumbled into the wall, using it to push himself back up.

The Officer gave him a funny look, as he moved his head back. "Boy you just don't know when to back down. Ever thought of joining the NCRA?"

Eli let out a deep rumbling laugh "Fuck you, and your puppet army." He licked the blood from his lip, savoring the coppery taste. "Now stop dicking around and fight me you Republic _pussy_."

The blonde man snarled as he lunged for him. Eli grabbed the nape of the his uniform, wrapping his other arm under his stomach. Using his momentum, Eli sent the Officer to join his Cadets in the broken pile of wood. Time seemed to slow down then as he made his way over to the man. Towering over him Eli slammed his boot into the Officer's side, earning a loud cracking sound. Somewhere behind him the girl from earlier screamed something. But he was too far gone into the fight to notice, or to care.

Dropping to his knees he yanked the officer from the broken table and preceded to beat him senseless. His wrists absorbed the brunt of each impact, and the rest of the energy traveled up his forearm and straight to his brain.

Lost in the elation of his violence he never noticed three more Soldiers running up behind him. They grabbed him roughly, their hands digging into his burning shoulders. He was thrown back into a chair immediately and a cold pistol barrel was pressed to his forehead. Eli glowered up at the Soldier holding the gun in a rage. He was like an animal, furious about being removed from his prey.

"Get that shit out of my fucking face." he growled.

Off to the side the Cadets were helping the blonde officer to his feet. His nose was barely recognizable and he was making wheezing sounds. Eli smirked and looked back at the man with the gun.

"I'm placing you under arrest." the Soldier spoke angrily.

"For what?" Eli shrugged as he shook his head, causing the other man to flinch.

"For starting a fight in a public place and attacking an Officer of the New California Republic Army!"

Eli snorted and pointed a bloody finger at the Officer. "That motherfucker hit first, arrest _him_."

The man shook his head and waved over another Solider with a sigh. "Restrain this asshole."

It took all four of them to succeed.

* * *

"Wake up slum puppy, you're being released." A man called out.

Eli looked up from where he sat on the dirty ground to see Mollie glaring at him through the bars.

"Lil sis, my you look lovely this morning." He smirked.

Mollie crossed her arms as the jailer released him "Assaulting an NCR Officer? Really Eli..."

"What? He tried to fucking recruit me." He replied jokingly.

She huffed and lead him out by his elbow. "Only after you two beat on each other."

"How'd you know?"

"I had a nice long chat with him after the released him from the medic. He will heal eventually, no thanks to you."

"How nice. You two buddies now?" He retorted, squinting as they walked out into the morning sun.

Mollie handed him his sunglasses. "Perhaps, he has some interesting views. Not to mention that he's a very smart man. He'll move up fast in the NCRA I'm sure."

"Fan-fucking-tastic Mollie, maybe then he'll learn how to throw a punch." He turned back to her "Hey, maybe _you_ could teach him!"

She cast him a dark look "There is more to life than fighting Eli. One day I want to do something with my life. Maybe go to California and pursue something in science."

Eli pulled a crumpled cigarette from his pocket. Lighting it with a frown he scowled at her. "You need to read something other than science books Mol."

"Like what? _Poetry_?" She drew out the last word as she rolled her eyes. "That'll get me laid maybe, by some sappy eyed loser. I prefer to bed an intellectual, someone of more worth. Not by some Wasteland low life."

"Hey now, don't knock poetry. And don't talk about bedding people in front of me, it's gross."

"Says the man who fucks girls in his room who are so loud they rattle the glasses in the kitchen." She scoffed.

"That's not talking is it? I can't help it that I make..."

His words were cut short at the sight of his Mother outside their house. Her arms were crossed as she watched them walk towards her. Eli gave her a smile before turning back to Mollie.

"How pissed is she?" He asked.

"You know Ma, never pissed, only disappointed." She sighed. "I didn't tell her though, Quinn did."

Eli grumbled before planting a smile on his face when they reached the steps of the house.

"Hey Ma." Eli grinned.

"Eli" she said quietly, acknowledging him. "Mollie, why don't you go on down to Miguel's? See if he has some more conductors. You used up the last few in your..experiments."

Mollie glanced at Eli before nodding to her Mother. "Sure thing."

After Mollie was out of earshot, Daphne took her son by the arm. "Come walk with me."

He held his arm out for her, falling into step in the sand as she began to speak.

"Eli, you know I don't try to steer you kids away from who you choose to be. And I have always tried to encourage you to live your life as you wish." She began.

"But?" Eli sighed.

Daphne gave him a half smile. "But you can't keep battling everything you don't like. I know it is your nature to be violent. And I understand your need to indulge in these acts." She sighed, sounding tired. "But Eli, you must find a balance in life. If you keep feeding this side of yourself, you are going to lose the brighter side of you that I know exists. And if you tear down, without building up something somewhere else...you are going to bury yourself in so much hate, that you may never climb out."

Eli looked over at her with hurt eyes. Her words were cutting, and they carried a weight he wasn't prepared for. "You make it sound as if all I do is destroy."

She stopped walking and squeezed his arm. "My Son, please don't take this the wrong way. I just don't want you to end up down a path that you cannot get back from. I know that darkness in your mind, I've seen it many times. We all have a part of it in ourselves." Daphne dropped her hands to her hips. "I do not believe that man was born inherently good. That is why it is so hard to choose to do the good things in life. But working against our existence as such, is what makes us stronger."

"Working against our existence..." He repeated her words as the dry Mojave wind caressed his face. "Why the fuck would we do that? All this time you have let me be how I am. Yet now you are asking me to do the opposite. To go against my nature would be by definition, to fight against what is natural. And in battling that, I would destroy myself." He spoke flatly, his ego was wounded and calling out for defense.

"Eli, you aren't listening to me. I don't want you to cease being yourself. I'm just saying that it would help you to balance. The world cannot exist on extremes. Just look around you!" She waved her hands at the ruined buildings around her. "This is what happens without balance. You say that you _would_ destroy yourself? Bullshit. You are destroying yourself now because you are living on your extremes. If you don't act with love as often as you do with anger, then you will disappear. And all that will be left is an angry shell of the man I know you to be." Daphne finished with tears in her eyes.

"Mitera." Eli whispered before pulling her against his broad chest. Even though her pleadings struck a nerve, he could never stand to see her cry. "I'm not going to disappear." He spoke softly, letting her lean back to wipe her eyes. "I do have balance. My love for you and Mollie ensures that Mitera. As long as you both are around, I will always be myself, I promise."

Daphne's aging features creased into a small smile. "But I won't always be around my dear. And one day Mollie will move on to whatever fate is hers to claim. You will have to find a new love to balance you then. A woman who is strong like you, like a warrior from my books."

Eli laughed then. "Is this all just a ploy to get me to settle down and give you grandchildren?"

"Perhaps." She chuckled. "I expect them some day, when you find a worthy lady. But I am in no rush for now. I know it will take time for you to find someone who matches you well. You are a rare one Eli."

"That's the fucking truth." He smiled.

"In all seriousness though, I would like you to think on what I have told you." She said, shielding her eyes from the sun.

He moved then, letting his tall frame cast a shadow over her."I will give it some thought. Though it may take some time to understand it fully. Especially the part about...love." He admitted.

She nodded as she patted his chest, right above his heart. "Love is a strange master, and human nature is stranger still."

* * *

_**The last line is a quote from Edgar Rice Burroughs. For those of you unfamiliar with him, he wrote **__**Tarzan**__**, and the adventures of **__**John Carter**__**.**__**  
**_


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